Sharings

Choices

CHOICES

Expressing our authentic YES or NO?

 

Sometimes getting my movement nourishment needs met means a YES to my family.

Yes to being dynamic and flexible to the needs of the situation. Yes to finding a way to move together. Yes to being playful and sharing this time. Yes to moving and relating. Yes to moving and connecting. Yes I choose this.

Sometimes it is a clear and firm NO.

No to sabotaging my needs to meet theirs. No, I love you but I also love myself. No to being a sacrificial lamb. I have needs and it’s my job to meet them and have healthy boundaries. No to modelling for them (through my actions) that we should always put other people’s needs first.

These types of situations are all about choice. Choosing your YES or your NO!

When we make conscious choices we empower ourselves and our loved ones. When we respond unconsciously or untruthfully we sabotage ourselves but also those in our lives.

So many times we say ‘yes’ but we mean ‘no’. So many times we don’t say anything at all. We imagine we are powerless, stuck, without choice, obligated. Or we make a choice but we get all passive aggressive about it (never helpful) cause it is not what we really want.

But we always have a choice. Choice is power, choice is conscious action, choice is a loving act of self respect and respect of the others involved.

I like to come back to choice, over and over again. To remind myself when I’m feeling trapped, obligated, a victim, used, or unseen, ‘what am I choosing here’. It has a beautiful way of bringing me back into perspective and back into awareness.

It is not always easy but it is helpful.

#choose #youalwayshavechoice #consciouschoice #yes #no#innerauthority #healthyboundaries #consciousrelating #selfrespect#honesty #authenticity #bodybeing #empowerment #innerwilderness#breathwork #breathworkcanberra #breathworkpractitioner#wholepersoncoaching #nutritiousmovement #humanslide#downdogvariation

Continuing to be human

Having a human experience means having MANY moments like this (symbolically as well as actually!).

Don’t be fooled by the images presented to you in social media.

Don’t let the inner critic use those images to tell you lies like you are lesser than, wrong, broken, unworthy, not enough.

Listen to the deeper voice. The one that’s kind, the often quieter one that stands you in your place and declares proudly that you are heartbreakingly fabulous the way you are.

The voice that speaks beyond your wounds, beyond your story and into the depths of you.

Listen to that voice.

And if that voice is hard to hear or so quiet you can only just hear it, then seek out the people who grow that voice inside you. The people, the tribe, the elders, the community who want to see the real you and safely call that part of you out.

We all need those people so let’s surround ourselves and call out the voice inside each other till it is so loud it fills the room.

Also let yourself have a good giggle at my face at the end of the video.

Life Stacking

 

“Stacking your life involves the search for fewer tasks that meet multiple needs, which often requires that you’re clear on what your needs actually are.” Katy Bowman

Here my daughter and I are ‘stacking’. We are working on a tree house together. On this day I needed to create, to get away from the to do list and to connect with my daughter (without playing another game of magical creatures). She wanted dedicated mummy time and has wanted this tree house for ages.

In this one shared task we got:

– Connection and purpose.

– Much natural movement (I climbed that tree about 50 times).

– Outdoor time.

– Skills development (basic building and problem solving).

– Emotional skills development (exposure to frustration, set backs, negotiation, working as a team, disappointment).

– Nourishment (from connection, creativity, nutritious movement).

– A sweet special spot that my daughter uses to play but also a place she goes for solitude and centering.

Stacking your life is not about doing more. It’s not about multitasking. It about being conscience about what you want in your life and how those things align with each other. It’s about choosing not just reacting.

What do you want more of in your life?

How can you align aspects of your life to get more of those things without adding more to your ‘to do’ list?

Huge props to @nutritiousmovement (Katy Bowman) for her deeply inspiring and very accessible work in this space.

Katy’s work is absolutely worth your time so check her out.

COMING HOME

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Do your health practices support you to be more present in your life or less?

Do they bring you into deeper relationship with your kids, partner, friends, family & community? Or away from????

Do they bring you back in better relationship with yourself, your emotions, thoughts, physical self, bodily sensations, energetic self, your inner wounds, your resilience & your fragility. Having you enjoying your body, your felt experience of life, your connection within?

Or do they shut it down?

Do they give you a sense of freedom to be exactly who the fuck you are? To know you are worth it.

Or through them are you trying to be something other than you? Someone with better abs, a cooler party trick, #thighgap, someone who knows it all, a life winner, someone who can dominate others, someone who only feels #goodfeels, is insta worthy etc.

Just wondering ……

❤️

Amber

Humanness

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Here is my real. No filter, no style (I’m in my PJs) & I’m in pain. This is the last time I would ever pat my dog. This is moments before her life ends. My dear friend of 16 years. This is a real raw & human moment.

Why do I share this??

We all know that the images we see on social media are often the highlight reel of someone’s life!

Often they are carefully crafted representations of themselves that they hope will grant them likes, love, self worth, acceptance, business etc. This in of itself is very human (the need to be seen, acknowledged & feel connected are basic primal needs, if somewhat distorted via social media).

Despite our intellectual understanding of this I feel we often still fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with the unobtainable perfection of someone’s Instagram/Facebook account (I certainly do). Taking those images & using them to judge ourselves harshly, eroding our sense of self.

Perhaps it motivates us to constantly strive to be ‘better’ (#inspiration) to cultivate ourselves into something more, maybe something lovable & worthy!

Both these pursuits are exhausting & isolating (despite all the ‘likes’) & actually take us away from feeling in love with who we actually are & truly connecting at a human level. They take us away from a knowing that we are entirely lovable the way we are. That we can lean into our realness & that it is safe to be seen there.

When others share their realness with us it creates space to know you aren’t alone, you aren’t broken, you aren’t a failure or not enough. You are a human, it means being imperfect, screwing up, failing, falling, making many mistakes, feeling, it means it’s ok to be a mess sometimes, to feel lost, to get tired, to ask for help, to get it wrong.

Let’s unmask, be real, be seen & find real connection. We all deserve it.

❤️

Amber

Adult play

The amazing health practice few are talking about…

Giving ourselves space to play has many, MANY benefits for our wellbeing, including:

  • endorphin release;
  • improvements in brain function and growth (play triggers secretion of BDNF, a substance essential for the growth of brain cells);
  • memory improvement;
  • stimulation of creativity;
  • relationship building (it even makes us more attractive to others!);
  • nervous system balancing (stimulating the Parasympathetic Nervous System – essential for growth, healing and stress adaptation);
  • builds skills and physical attributes (strength, fitness, reactivity etc);
    stress reduction;
  • lowers blood pressure;
  • increases dopamine release (a key neurotransmitter in motivation, productivity, focus and zest for life); and
  • promotes resilience (physically, emotionally and mentally).

That’s just some of the studied benefits bouncing around.

Pretty amazing huh! 

So go play….

Move WITH your cycle (one for da ladies)

Understand the importance of moving WITH you cycle for sustainable health and positive self regard.

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Women are not small men!

Our needs are different and our physiology is most vibrant when our health practices honour that difference rather than deny it.

Understanding how the patterns of our sex hormones alter our physiology is key to figuring out how we can make health choices (like exercise and nutrition) that best support us during the different stages of our cycles.

We know different hormones are at play at different times in our menstrual cycle. Often though we don’t understand how these differing hormones actually affect us and how we can optimise our health practices to make the most of the various stages of our cycle (thus supporting our overall health).

To imagine that we have one consistent state – to ignore our need to flow, shift and change WITH our cycle – is to work against our basic physiology, making our female bodies wrong!

When we work against our cycle we unhelpfully stress our bodies, adding systemic inflammation, down regulating metabolic function, lowering overall system resources and generally getting less value from our training, nutrition and self care practices.

Beyond this I see women getting frustrated at their bodies, at feeling somehow lesser than, feeling depleted, frustrated and overwhelmed.

It doesn’t have to be this way. I would like to offer you another way. One where we honour our shifting states and make choices based on the needs of those states.

As our physiological needs shift so to must our practices. Rigid health prescriptions that do not respect where a woman is in her cycle will ultimately undermine her health.

I’m not just talking about mood changes but how different stages of our cycle can alter our energy, hunger, physical appearance, food cravings, sexual drive, sleep patterns, dreams, digestion, sociability, brain function and movement potential (e.g. strength, endurance, aerobic capacity, mobility, grip).

These changes are REAL and deserve our attention.

Our culture has a tendency to ignore, hide and even override these beautiful changes occurring in our bodies. Making these changes inconvenient, unacknowledged and even shameful. All to the detriment of our health.

Here is an example of two movement practices that reflect two different stages of my cycle.

Ovulation: Part A
The first part of this clip is typical of my movement choices around ovulation, particularly when my estrogen and testosterone levels are peaking (while the sedating effects of progesterone are low). At these times my body wants more physical challenge, more yang movements. I crave to punch out strength work and push my edges.

At these times in my cycle I’m physically stronger, my capacity for work load is high (e.g. chin ups are walk in the park). Libido is humming, hunger is low and I’m a little more aggressive. I look leaner. I’m more confident, energised and highly social.

But… this is only one aspect of my cycle.

Mid Luteal Phase: Part B
Contrast to the above is my Luteal Phase (particularly around day 21 of my cycle) is a time I choose more soft movement flows. My body softens, my energy is lower and less edgy, my grip strength drops, my body needs more nutrient dense carbs, libido dips and my body craves more gentleness (yin) in my movement practice (e.g. my chins ups all but disappear and couldn’t care less). I’m more receptive, more open and need more time to myself. My body needs ‘energy in’ practices. It is time to fill my cup.

This too is only one aspect of me because I am ever flowing and shifting, just like my cycle.

My needs, priorities and supports require a fluid dynamic response. I need to make choices that nourish me dependent on where I am at. Rigid health practices and dogmatic programs will not serve me long term.

You too deserve health practices that respect the needs of YOUR dynamic, flowing, shifting body. Is it time to listen to YOUR cycle?

Do you know how to respond to the various stages of your cycle?

Do you know what is most nourishing for you from stage to stage?

Do you want learn to listen to the needs of your cycle? To work WITH your cycle, in real and practical ways?

then check out: WILD WOMAN WELLNESS WORKSHOP (9 June 2018)
Or email me on amber@bodybeing.com.au